I am in my mid thirties. While this is not old to most people, the wrinkles and fine lines that are starting on my face sometimes lie to me and tell me otherwise. When I look back at pictures of myself 10 years ago, I can definitely see a difference in my looks. As a woman, this is a shattering reminder that I am no longer young and as society would like me to believe, not as desirable.
As a plus sized women, I already know that I don’t fit the mold of many conventional beauty standards. Some days I am OK with this and other days, well, I just have one of those days.
The problem with this thinking is it is basing our value on how we look. It is saying that my outward shell is the most important aspect about me, and that simply is not the case. I also have a 13 year old daughter and a 16 year old stepdaughter and they have many of the same worries about what they look like. This value placing we do as people on what we look like has to change. If you are looking to boost your confidence now, here are some tips on how to boost your confidence at any age that have nothing to do with your outer appearance.
Practice Positive Affirmations daily- I started doing this after my personal trainer suggested it and it has made a big impact in my life. Positive Self Affirmations are simply reminding yourself that you are good, worthy and lovable. I think too often, we get wrapped up in this idea that others define us when in reality, we define ourselves. Each morning, go to the mirror and say out loud to yourself a positive affirmation. It can be something as simple as, “You are worthy of respect.” This one action, when done daily, has been shown to really be a confidence booster for me.
Find a way to be kind and give more to others- Humans are almost designed to get our confidence from positive actions when we do good things for others. They don’t have to be big things either. It can be as simple as making a pact with yourself that you will do one single thing extra to be kind to a stranger every day such as hold doors, stop so someone can cross the street or practice patience when you feel yourself running out with someone. Radiating positivity to others will be a huge confidence booster in yourself.
Make goals and crush them- One of the biggest ways we can gain confidence is to prove to ourselves that we kick a lot of behind. To do this, you must set goals. Don’t make it over-complicated. Set simple goals such as promising yourself to not be tempted to get grouchy with people throughout the day or one of my personal favorites, to do a walk every night no matter what.
Never stop learning- If you want to be confident, knowing your stuff can help. Keep learning new things and skills so you feel like you have more to offer yourself and the world. Crave knowing how to cook well? Start reading blogs and watching videos on the subject!
Look for areas in your life that a small habit could improve- They say it takes 30 days to create a habit, so find something in your life that a small tweaking of your behavior could improve and get to work creating a positive habit such as drinking more water, remembering to make lists and so on. Don’t give up, either. It takes a while to make something a habit.
Get moving- This may sound totally cliche, but exercise has been one of the biggest confidence boosters I have welcomed into my life. It isn’t even about weight loss or how I look, either. For me it's making small goals like running for 2 minutes straight on the treadmill or pushing through when I want to give up or challenging myself to do 10 more squats that really has me soaring. I can go to the gym in a bad mood and leave feeling awesome every time.
Look for inspiration- Don’t think you can do what you want or get what you want out of life? Start looking for role models of folks just like you and see how they smashed their goals and did what you want to do. Finding inspiration is one of the keys to boosting your own confidence.
Written By Christine Tolhurst from Saved By Grace Blog
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